Browsing CategoryAbout Me

I had a very interesting dream last night. I dreamed that I was in a traveling company of some musical and we had been going from city to city performing. Along the way, in one of the fabulous hotels we were staying at, I happened to meet the actor Ryan Gosling (you know, that guy from The Notebook) and he put a large iguana on my head. He told me it was his special pet and he needed me to take care of it, and then he left. I stood there for a little while, but then I decided that…

A quiet war had been raging in the Bethea household for a few months. Under the roof of a seemingly normal mid-century ranch style, on a peaceful tree-lined street, an epic battle had been waging where blood was spilled, tears were shed, and the sanity of one young mother hung in balance like a spider on Jonathan Edwards’ fireplace mantel. Someone has replaced my pink little ball of sleeping baby with a speed addict after a venti triple shot. And I wanted vengeance. I guess it all started around Christmas time. The holidays were busy for everyone, so when Eloise…

Every day, something reminds me why I hate living in the Bible Belt. Church signs are usually the culprit. Classics include: “Jesus always answers his knee-mail”. “Fight truth decay- read your Bible!” “The best vitamin for a Christian is B1” “Thanksgiving? Come in and let’s talk Turkey. ~God” (Since when does God speak Poultry to people?) or my personal favorite: “No dropped calls on the GloryLine Express” (Yep, this is one I really saw with my own eyes. I have no idea what it means.) Or sometimes my hatred will spring forth at Bible Belt usage of the phrase “I’m…

I am going to go ahead and declare it to the world…. I am having a quarter life crisis. I joked that this may happen, back when I slept a full 8 hours a night (hasn’t happened since before Christmas), when I was still on maternity leave, and when my boobs were still enormous. Basically, for the first three months of Eloise’s life, I felt like a less tragic version of Anna Nicole Smith (before OldGuy died). My maternity leave was what I imagine her love affair with OldGuy was like. It was blissful, but I knew it  was going…

It has been said that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. It has also been said, “There is love of course. And then there’s life, its enemy.” I find the latter to be more true at this point of my life. Last week, I wrote a glowing post about how I was the proud new owner of a 1973 Airstream and that how my dreams were finally coming true and that I could stop whining and get busy becoming the gypsy hipster I always knew I was meant to be. And…

So I’ve been a mom for about a month. I have been thinking periodically about what I wanted to say about motherhood first, because there is so much to say and not enough time or words to say it all. Here’s what I’ve got first: I am a slightly different person than I was a month ago. My personality is the same, my basic philosophy on life is the same, but the focus of my time and energy is different. I used to spend a lot of time thinking about what I was going to do with my life- what…

So it just occurred to me that my last post was a little bit whiny. I read it, and although I meant what I said, I forgot to “temper my speech with grace” and point out the good things too. Sort of like a loaf of bread without the yeast to make it light and fluffy. I could have just deleted the old one and typed the new one, but I felt like that was hypocritical. I said what I said, and now I need to re-say it. I don’t like to whine, and I am going to try to…

Someone asked me last night how long I had before Eloise was to be born. I couldn’t really do the math (I don’t know which is worse- the fact that I didn’t know what day it was, or that I couldn’t calculate the passage of time between date A and date B), so I quickly downloaded the “What to Expect When you’re Expecting” iPhone App. It’s a handy little tool that tells you all sorts of things from how big the baby currently is, to what she is doing, to what you should feel like. So I typed in my…

I need to show you all something that I think will give you a little insight into myself. This is a picture from my Elementary School Brownie Troupe. Take note of all of the different types of first and second grade little girls. There are some little girls who are perfectly coiffed, some who forgot their uniform on picture day, only half are even looking at the camera, some who are clowning around in the back row, and then there is one little girl on the left hand side of the front row who is a little hard to classify.…

I hate multi-tipped pens. You know which ones I mean. The big fatty pens that have the little buttons on the top. Push down the red button for the red pen, the blue button for the blue pen, the black button for the black pen, and the green (who ever needs to write with green anyway?) button for the green pen. I used to have a sparkly purple one in elementary school. I was really excited about it until I used it for about a week and all of the black ran out. Then I switched to the blue mode…